I just came to the realization that Dad must have been terrified about what was going to happen to me after he died. I can almost feel his fear. He was helpless to do anything about it anymore. My life was out of his hands (and thank goodness for that!!). We were so close and even though I was mistreated, I know he THOUGHT he was doing what was best for me no matter how warped his reality was. These are my thoughts as my 3 year old son comes to me singing "daddy finger, daddy finger, where are you?". All I can think about is reaching up and wrapping my tiny hand around my daddy's fat thumb. I'm sure he prayed for me and my future. He knew he'd be long gone when I grew up and got married. I'm sure he prayed I would meet a Godly man who would take care of me. I did, and now my oldest child has his smile.
